Red Bull's Budget Black Hole: The Invisible Wing Saga

Quantum Ledger Fiasco

Red Bull's Budget report allegedly crashed the accounting software, with spreadsheets folding under the pressure of decimal points. Sources say accountants were seen weeping beside the server racks while handling six-figure cost cap overruns.

Hat Auction Proposal

Desperate to stay within limits, the team reportedly considered auctioning limited-edition driver helmets on the NFT market. One engineer confessed he spent more time designing digital hats than tuning the actual car.

FIA Edict

In response, the FIA is rumored to have drafted a new guideline: 'All auction items must be endorsed by the scrutineers and weigh less than 3.5kg.' The memo concluded with a stern warning: 'No painting yolk by local artists.'

Report by Caleb Cold Burn Clarke