Mercedes Espionage: The Land Horse Thief Scandal

The Great Horse Heist

In a move more cloak-and-dagger than chassis-and-wing, sources allege Mercedes deployed 'land horses'—service rigs painted in neutral grey—to swipe setup notebooks from Red Bull's paddock quarters. Mechanics claim they found grass chaff and horseshoes in the brake ducts of their cars, sparking a full-blown inquiry.

Carrot & Chart Mystery

One anonymous engineer reported spotting a suspicious feed bucket labeled 'Red Bull tech' beneath the garage awning at dawn, only to realize it was full of carrots and classified tire pressure charts. When confronted, Mercedes PR responded with a tight-lipped statement: "We prefer horsepower over horsepower."

Rulebook Rewrite

Red Bull's team principal is said to have dispatched trainer Rick Fenn to negotiate the safe return of any borrowed notebooks, offering a lifetime supply of energy drinks in exchange. Meanwhile, the FIA quietly updated regulations: 'No livestock allowed within 500 meters of the pit lane.'

Report by Caleb Cold Burn Clarke